One Down, One to Go

One Jaywalker Finished.
One to go. I refuse to succumb to Second Sock Syndrome.

I found a whole passle of socks that I have knit only one, or started and haven't even finished one. I'll have to post my Socks of Shame.

Happy Halloween

Here is "12:01" from Magknits. I knit it with Lion Wool in Pumpkin, and Lamb's Pride in a dark green. It is currently drying. It may have to hold some candy for Halloween night.

Not that there's anything wrong with it...

The Town Criers left a comment on a previous post praising Marcia Cross for speaking up on behalf of infertiles everywhere. And I started thinking about celebs who've spoken out about infertility. I know that this is not a thorough list, but let's call it a work in progress.....

1. Marcia Cross--Love Her! She was seen coming out of a SoCal fertility clinic. Pregnant with twins at 44. Talks about IF.

2. Courteney Cox--Love Her! She's openly discussed her struggles with infertility. Has ACA's like I do. Says she used IVF to get pregnant, and will use IVF again.

3. Brooke Shields--Love Her Two Times! Not only did she admit to IVF (seven times before becoming pregnant with her first baby) she also admits to postpartum depression, and for using meds to overcome it.

4. Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels--Love Them! You know they had to use ART. It's a given. Actually an anonymous donor, not David Crosby this time.

But what about those mommies who give birth to twins in their upper 40's. We're led to believe that these ladies had NO medical assistance! I don't think necessarily that these ladies should come out and say that they used donor eggs, or what not, but I do think that they should fess up to maybe having trouble getting pregnant, and maybe using ART to get pregnant.

There is nothing wrong with being infertile. There is nothing wrong with using ART to get pregnant. What is wrong is leading people to believe that fertility lasts well into your 40's (and early 50's) . It may for some people, but for the general population, it does not.

Socktober isn't over yet!

I've been itching all month to knit some socks. I finally found the sock yarn I wanted at The Yarn Garden, and have started a pair of Jaywalkers to celebrate Socktoberfest. I'm using Trekking XXL in colorway 161. They are just so Autumnal that I had to knit them. I really hope this loverly doesn't join my other single socks because of my Second Sock Syndrome. I really really want to finish these. They may be my new transfer socks.

National Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week. The Town Criers have some great ideas for spreading infertility awareness. One of the ideas listed is to blog about infertility.

This is my story.

I used to be fertile. I used to get pregnant at the drop of a hat. I could get pregnant on birth control pills. Carrying a baby, though, was a different story. I could get pregnant, but I couldn't stay that way. Finally, after 5 diagnosed (and who knows how many other) miscarriages, I was tested and tested positive for Anticardiolipin Antibodies. So, I'm told that I can get and stay pregnant with the help of heparin.

I go for a while with no cycle, so I'm prescribed Provera, to jumpstart Auntie Flow, and then Clomid to jumpstart to ol'ovaries. Well, provera doesn't work. Auntie Flow refuses to visit. I take the Clomid anyway, and the ol' ovaries are just that. OLD.

Tests are run, and I'm told that I'm post menopausal. I truly believe, though, that the FSH number that I was given has to be overly inflated. Regardless, I would not be getting pregnant without medical intervention.

Now, I was one of those women who felt that they could get pregnant whenever they wanted, and medical intervention was a sign of weakness. I was truly scared to go to the RE for fear of what they might tell me. I really waited a long time to go. I kept thinking, probably because of celebs in their 40's having babies, that I could do it on my own. I spent a fortune every month on hpt's. I took herbs. I bought the big fertility monitor. I didn't ovulate.

Once I was told about my FSH level, I called and made an appointment with the RE. I was told about the wonders of Donor Eggs. I have done one DE cycle that was not successful. I am beginning another cycle.

People need to be aware of infertility. Out of all of my friends growing up and in college, I can only think of 2 who did not have problems getting pregnant. Infertility can touch everyone to some degree. It can be heartbreaking. It can be devastating.

Hopefully, in my case, with the help of medical assistance, it can be overcome!

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Brad is in Sarasota, so my mother and I will be lighting 5 candles tonight to remember our 5 angels.

Stella Blue-born still-July 11, 1998
Starlet-miscarried November 1999
Noel-etopic-removed tube and baby-January 2000
Angel Baby-miscarried-November 2001
Angel Baby-miscarried-July 2002

The doctors have determined that my losses are because of Anticardiolipin antibodies, which cause micro-clots to form, and the baby dies. Now I will use a blood thinner to prevent this from happening again, providing that I become pregnant again.

Happy Belated Blogoversary!

A year ago, October 1, I started this blog. I had (and still have) no idea what I'm doing. I have a lot of knitting content, and some infertility stuff, too.

When I started, I was really into making helmetliners. This is something that I should probably start again. I just sent 3 off to Iraq. The husband of one of my co-workers was deployed in August. She sent him a care package, and I sent the helmetliners in that. I like knowing where they go, and I'll be able to get feedback as to what I can do to make them better.

Then, it being October and all, I got into Yorick, and had to make him.

Here it is October again, and I have nothing in the works. So, I thought I'd peruse through the Knitty archives, and have decided to do these.

There is another cool pumpkin that I'd like to do at Magknits. I didn't have enough yarn at home, so I started the Knitty one, first.

The New Cycle

I'm getting ready to start a new DE cycle. I've been matched with a donor, and she looks quite like my brother did when he was a baby. We can only see baby pics, but I think that's okay. One of the girls on FF just found out that her cycle worked. I only hope that I can follow in her footsteps.

I'm starting my Lupron next Monday, so things will be moving along after that. They have increased my estrogen quite a bit based on the results of my second mock cycle. Hopefully my lining will cooperate. Dr. B. told me that I had a stubborn uterus during that mock cycle. I hope that it will behave for the real thing.

I was a little apprehensive about my donor at first. I had asked for curly hair and green eyes. She has straight hair and brown eyes. But I have been looking at children and their parents a lot lately, and have seen some mothers/fathers and children who look nothing alike. I started thinking about my cousin, who is very fair. She has blonde hair, and is whiter than I am, and I'm pretty white. She married a guy who is Italian and Portuguese. Needless to say, he has dark hair and nice tanning olive skin. (To us very fair folks, to be able to tan would be a dream come true...My sun cycle consists of burn, blister, peel, freckle) The whole time Debbie was pregnant with her son, we just knew he would be dark like Tony. He is the blondest thing you've ever seen. Her daughter is the same way. So I guess it really doesn't matter how my donor looks. What does matter is if she produces some good quality eggs that will grow to blastocyst, and will snuggle in when they are transferred back to me. She has just done a successful cycle, so hopefully I'll be the next.

Heading for Home

I went home this weekend. My friend Elaine is an interior designer, and designed a showcase house for Southern Accents. The Big Event was this weekend at Hampton Island, and I went with my cousin, my brother and his wife, and my mom and "older sister." I got to see Elaine, which is always a treat, and I also got to see my forever friend, Katy. Three Dog Night was the entertainment at this event. We sat on the lawn and were eaten alive by bugs (one of the hazards of coastal Georgia). The house was fabulous, as was the Big Event. The food was great, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

It was also my daddy's birthday. We went over there for supper, and I took my grandmother. We had to wait a while for my brother and his wife to get there, and so we drank some margaritas. Apparently, my Mimi had too many. We finished eating, and my brother started playing the piano. The next thing I know, Ellen, my sister-in-law, runs in looking for a camera, because Mimi and Wayne were dancing! I'll have to post pictures.

I had a little SEX while I was there. My Stash Enhancing e-Xpedition included trips to both The Stitchery of St. Simons, where I got some Cotton Chenille, a set of Denise Needles, and a Knitwhits kit for the Ripley Hat. Then I went to Fuzzy Mabel and got some needles, and some Euroflax Linen to make a hand towel for my mother's bathroom.